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Nauseating Nauticals Monday, June 2, 2008

Posted by kittylamour in Opinions & articles.

Every spring it seems to happen. You walk into the shops awaiting the arrival of some lovely summery styles to wipe away the winter blues, and what do you get hit by? Stripes. Red and white stripes. Navy and white stripes. Sailor suits. Big brass buttons with anchors on them. Blazers. Yes, once again the nautical trend is back, and I for one really wish it wasn’t.

I think my repulsion for all things sailor-style may stem from the fact that I am a child from the 80s, the decade of ra-ra skirts, tube socks, matching leggings-and-t-shirt-sets, and Global Hypercolor tshirts. None of which you’d think would have anything to do with nauticals, (and you’re right, they don’t), but there was one other 80s trend, one of which I (nearly) Dare Not Speak. The one which sowed the seed of hatred for all things sailor-y in my mind.

Sailor Dresses.

Oh yes, sailor dresses. Apparently the epitome of all that is cute and stylish for 6 year old girls in 1989, and a complete must-wear outfit for any and all important occasions ranging from family weddings to school discos. A vision of navy pleats, white piping, and little brass buttons, with the optional extras of white frilled socks or – even worse!! – white tights, and patent shoes with (ugh) buckles. And if you’re feeling really authentic, a straw hat that itches (it has to itch, or else it’s not authentic).

And, therein, my hatred of nautical was born. These days, even the faintest whiff of the red-white-and-navy combination makes me feel slightly itchy, and the sight of a stripey t-shirt can’t make me think of anything but a bad fancy dress party, or, on a very good day, a camper-than-camp Jean Paul Gaultier advert.

 I think I may even have blown an interview with MAC after expressing my dislike of the sailor style, just before their Naughty Nauticals collection was about to launch. Whoops. But to me, there is very little either appealing or inspiring about the naval uniform, no matter how many times the designers trawl it back (hehe, trawl…. OK, it was a bad joke). Unfortunately it seems that over-exposure has lead to some kind of weakening of my defences, as I have recently found myself in possession of a pair of very nautical shoes.

Navy – check. Cork soles – check. White piping, stripes, and buckles – check, check, check! There’s no denying the nautical influence behind these babies, in fact they’d probably do better in the Navy than certain members of the Royal Family, but I like to kid myself that it is my passion for shoes that led to this purchase, and nothing to do with a softening attitude towards sailor style. Even if they wouldn’t look out of place on a yacht somewhere in the Med.

However, I’m determined that this will be my one and only nautical purchase for this spring, and I’m hoping against hope that, this time next year, the designers will at last have decided that it really is time for this trend to meet a watery grave. Come up with something original, please, and preferably something that doesn’t give me a Little Lord Fauntleroy complex.




1. Panda - Saturday, June 21, 2008

Dont diss the navy strips honey. I am an addict, as you know of course, having been shoping with me 😛

I have to show these show I have got.
I really must start my own blog.

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